HELP!!! I can't stand it any longer....

I am at the end of my rope. Besides from sitting and crying I don't know what else to do. I have a 2 year old little boy who I don't really like being around. It's so frustrating for me. I want to be a happy mom who loves being with her kids, but most days it's really difficult. So I'm asking for advice. Here is an example of a common situation that is really difficult for me to deal with: This morning I went to the gym and left the boys in the play club at the gym while I worked out. It was great. They went right in and started playing immediately. After I was done I went to get them and found them content and happily playing. I picked up Tom, and he was happy to see me. I went to get Ben and he started a major melt down, screaming, kicking, and falling to the floor. What was I supposed to do???? I'm holding a 1 year old, who can't walk yet, how do I stop my 2 year from publicly making a scene and making me sooooo angry I just want to spank the heck out of him. Lately this kind of behavior is not uncommon. Whenever Tom picks up any toy Ben immediately walks up to Tom and takes the toy away and says to Tom "no it's mines, it's Ben's turn." Then when I ask Ben to give it back he yells at me "no I'm mad". I feel like yelling back, "YOU'RE MAD????? You don't even know what mad is." He's also started hitting and pushing Tom. It's like a power struggle all day long. If he's not tormenting his brother then he's whinning and yelling at me. The good times have become less frequent. (Don't get me wrong, I love this little boy and he is good some of the time. But when he's frustrating he's really frustrating.)
Please help me. I just want to know how to have a happy, loving, peaceful home. If you have any experience, or know of any good books let me know.

This is the Place Monument...now known as the Zoo.

Today I wanted to get out of the house and take the boys somewhere fun, so naturally I thought of the zoo. I was out of the house by about 10:00am, which is a miracle in itself. Then when I got off the freeway I realized that I really didn't even know how to get there. That where Camille comes in. She was the hero, or shero if you prefer, of the morning. I called her and she navigated us to the beautiful Hogle Zoo in a heart beat, and she wasn't even in the car. Unfortunately when we got to the zoo at 10:30am it was already soooo packed that we couldn't even find a parking spot. I hate huge crowds, and I especially hate huge crowds when I'm alone with the boys. It's just a hassle, I don't think I need to explain my reasoning.

By this time Ben was asking to see the giraffes and elephants, so what did I do, I drove back down the street to the This is the Place Monument, told Ben that the elephants and giraffes were napping and took him to see the lovely petting zoo that they have there. It worked like a charm, I was still the super-mom of the day. Plus we were able to ride the train that they have roaming around in the park. It was great.
Sorry I didn't get any pictures. It's hard to take pictures when your hands are full of kids.

Happy Birthday Tom!

Tom's birthday was May 11th. The Saturday before we had a family party with Uncle Chris & Aunt Gina, Uncle Casey, and Jesse, Brooke, and Leila. It was a lot of fun. It's so nice to live close to family again.



Here's Ben and Leila being cute.


Mommy and Tom blowing out the candle.



The boys enjoying their cupcakes.


The kids and all the presents.


Daddy and his boy.

Happy First Birthday Tom, we love you!

The Great Bendido!

In our house wrestling is a common occurence. Here are a few shots of Ben, aka The Great Bendido, taking daddy down.






Thanks daddy for being such a great sport.